Wedding Wednesday: Thank You Notes

The Importance of "Thank You" Notes

A few things to keep in mind while writing all those notes!

Photo Courtesy of Lifeguard Press

Who. Take the time to write a note to everyone who gave you a gift or money. Don't forget to take extra care of guests who where attendants or made your day extra special. 

When. Notes should be written and sent within three months of receiving the gift.

Mr.&Mrs. Make sure notes are from the both of you, the new duo! 

Returns. Never acknowledge that you returned or exchanged a gift. Give the same care and thoughtfulness that your guest did.

As always, send love and gratitude! 

Ask Ady:

Dear Ady,

I am a member of the bridal party in an upcoming fall wedding.  In regards to thanking the bride and groom, I have always wondered what the appropriate etiquette is for bridal party members after the festivities are over.  Is one to thank the bride and groom for having you participate in the special time in lives?  And, if bridal party gifts are given, is a thank you gesture necessary (something other than letting them know how appreciative you are in the moment)?  

Sincerely, 

Mary-Elle, Cincinnati, OH

Dear ME, 

While it is not necessary to send a thank-you for a thank-you, it is a lovely gesture to share your gratitude at having been a part of their special day.  This can be handled by a note post-festivities, as part of the sentiment in the card accompanying their gift, or by a special note to the bride/groom on the wedding day if a gift has been sent in advance. 

However, it IS appropriate (and often times forgotten) to thank the hosts for the wedding they hosted which you enjoyed.  Sending a note of thanks and cheer to the hosts (for a wedding or any event) is sure to make you stand out as a gracious guest and will ensure future invitations. 

A good rule of thumb...when in doubt, send a note.  At the very least, you will brighten the receivers day.  Everyone loves to receive a sweet piece of mail.   

xo, 

Ady 

Wedding Wednesday! The One Year Rule...

It is commonly thought and practiced that wedding guests have up to one year to give a gift to the happy couple.  While this may be considered standard etiquette practice, it still begs the question of why wait and what are your reasons? 

A woman recently "confided" in me that she doesn't send a wedding gift until very close to the couple’s 1-year anniversary (I wondered how she could remember when it was coming) and her reason was simple and scary - she waits to send a gift until she knows the wedding will last (at least a year).  I was aghast at this!  If she feels this way about the couple, why did she accept the invitation and furthermore, she still attended the wedding and dined and drank and danced at the couple's invitation.   As a guest at any hosted party, it is gracious guest behavior to bring a gift to thank the host for all they did to provide you with a lovely evening.  Same goes (ESPECIALLY goes) for weddings. 

There is also the situation of the person less organized about their social calendar who simply forgets to send a gift.  When you remember that you have forgotten, please send that gift right away.   Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking the  bride and groom no longer care about receiving wedding gifts (or tracking them for that matter, trust me they will know who sent and who didn't). 

This brings me to the next point - this rule is plain silly.  Let's get real here.   You receive a wedding invitation, you send (or bring) a gift.   Be gracious and do this immediately.  It's a very simple task.  Just do it!   

Any brides reading this?   It's commonly communicated that you have a year to send a thank-you note.  Wrong again, do this immediately.  For nothing else, to get it off your plate, but also to show that you are grateful for the gifts your guest gave you.  If you received a thank-you note almost a year after you gave a gift, would you wonder whether or not your gift went  unnoticed or was never received? 

In conclusion, my friends, erase this rule from your mind and be swift about sending a gift and swift about writing your thank you notes.   Try a new rule - The 2-month rule.   You will love it.  

Let’s never forget what dear Emily Post tells us etiquette is:  A code of behavior based on thoughtfulness….