Ask Ady! What exactly does "and guest" mean?

Dear Ady,

I was invited to a wedding + guest and I don't have a boyfriend.  Can I bring a female friend instead?  The bride doesn't know my friend well, but she has met her once.  Or, is the "and guest" limited to romantic relationships? 

Sincerely,

Susan
Broomfield, CO

Dear Susan,

This is a great question.  Thank you for asking me!  It has a bit of a tricky answer and requires good etiquette* from both you and the bride... 

Let's think about a few things first:
1. Do you know a lot of people attending this wedding?  If so, perhaps you will be comfortable without bringing a guest (hey! you might meet someone cute!).
2. Is this wedding large or small?  A more intimate affair may mean that the bride and groom either had some financial limitations or that they simply wanted to celebrate with only their closest friends and family.
3.  Did the bride and your friend hit it off when they met?  If they loved each other the first time they met, that's a great thing!  If they were standoffish or cold to one another, that's a bad thing. 

Do think about these questions and if you are still unsure, I offer this advice:  The bride (should) ultimately want her guests to be happy and comfortable and that is why she offered you the opportunity to bring a guest.  She also probably knows your love life status and knows whether or not you are romantically involved.  An "and guest" does mean that you may bring the guest of your choosing.  When you are offered that option, it is YOUR prerogative to choose whom your guest will be.   And, especially if this is a larger wedding, the bride may have the attitude of "the more the merrier!"

However, consider a few things.  Be sure to let the bride know who will be bringing well in advance.  At that point, it will be her responsibility to let you know of any issues she has with this (which would be ungracious of her but you will need to respect her wishes).  Also please remember that weddings are expensive and a guest of yours will be hosted by the bride and groom - be sure to gift appropriately to cover your friend's attendance as well as your own.  Make sure that your guest (and this goes for ANY GUEST and yourself) acts appropriately and ladylike throughout the affair. 

I hope this helps! 

xo,  Ady

*  A code of behavior based on the consideration of others.  -Emily Post