Ask Ady: My BFF may not make a good MOH

Dear Ady-

My fiancé just proposed in February and we have been working on selecting friends and family to be a part of our bridal party.  My lifelong best friend is the woman I would like to be my maid of honor, but I have a few reservations.  She always makes herself the center of attention, whether or not it is someone else’s special day.  I am very worried that instead of supporting me, she will make my wedding all about herself.  Also, my fiancé and I are very thankful to both of our parents for the generous budget they have given us, allowing us to have an open bar throughout the entire reception!  My best friend, however, also has a problem with alcohol. She would argue that she doesn’t but she has never been able to control herself or stop after she has reached her limit.  This isn’t only a concern for being the maid of honor but also as a guest at our wedding. After all of the work, time and money our families will put into our wedding and engagement, we both want our wedding to be an event to remember for all the right reasons.  Should I choose someone else as my maid of honor?

Sincerely,

Megan H., Columbus, OH

Dear Megan,

Well, this is certainly a tricky and emotional subject.  If you are concerned that your bestie will be a source of stress and not take her role of MOH seriously and respectfully, then you may be better off with asking another person to fill this important role, or perhaps not choose to title someone MOH at all.  However, you cannot make this decision without ensuring that you have clearly spelled out your expectations to your BFF.  Without having a conversation with her, a Pandora's Box of speculation will open for her to wonder WHY she wasn't chosen, as clearly a lifelong best friend is always the obvious choice for the role of MOH.  You need to be very upfront with her.    

This leads me to a deeper thought...it sounds as if you and your bestie have had years of these situations that seem to be unresolved.  Perhaps this conversation on the MOH topic will allow you to also share your frustrations with her as an attention seeker, and more importantly, your worry over her binge drinking.  If you are truly lifelong friends with mutual respect for each other, this conversation should make your relationship stronger.  If it doesn't go that way, perhaps you will have learned a tough lesson in friendships: As you grow older, QUANTITY does not always make for QUALITY.    

What I will caution is this:  You can never change a person, you can only change how you choose to let that person affect you.  Change must always come from within.  

Sending you lots of luck on this, Megan.  An honest conversation is your first step. 

xoxo, 

Ady 

Wedding Wednesday: Something Blue...

Everyone is familiar with the old adage, “Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue” but few are aware of the history behind this charming wedding phrase.  The saying stems from an Old English Rhyme where the four objects are meant to bring the bride luck on her wedding day.  Each item represents a different blessing offered to the bride from an important person(s) in her life.  And here we bring you a little wedding history...

Something Old 

Symbolizing continuity within and support of the marriage from the bride’s family. 

This item traditionally is given to the bride by a female relative, but today, something from your dad, brother, or favorite uncle also works!  Could be anything small and easily worn on the wedding day.  A beautiful brooch on the bouquet from auntie, a bit of lace from mom's dress, or grandma's pearls are always a special way to go!  

Something New 

Gives the bride an optimistic outlook on her future as she begins her marriage. 

For many brides, this is her dress or ring, or another special gift given to her by her soon-to-be in-laws.  Something that representing her happy future within her role as a wife.  Again, should be easily carried or worn.  

Something Borrowed 

Embodies the happiness a loved one has for the bride.  

There is intimacy in borrowing a special item which your maid of honor, bridesmaid or special person carried on her wedding day with the blessing and support from that special friend of many happy years of marriage.  

Something Blue 

Represents the bride’s love and fidelity for her soon to be husband. 

Unlike many of the other objects, this is one the bride may choose for herself.  So, on that note, here are some of our favorite ideas!  

There are SO many chic ways to incorporate blue into your wedding day attire.  

SHOES (J'Adore!) 

Hey Lady Shoes Photo by: Amanda Julca Photography

Bridal Bouquet - you only need a few (or even 1) blue flower to make your statement!

Lora Ayers Photography

 We ADORE a Blue Accessory!  Hair, Earrings, Bracelets, ANYTHING!  

Haute Bride available at La Jeune Mariee

And while we love a blue accessory, we absolutely SWOON for a blue veil!

Gigi Burris Millinery

Want something a little more subtle?
Use blue thread to monogram or stitch a special thought into your dress. 

Beau-Coup Weddings 

The world is your blue-point oyster, ladies!  Go forth and conquer!  

xx, AE  

Written by Sarah Thomas

Ask Ady: Many guests have yet to RSVP!

Image & Design Courtesy of our Talented Friends at Ink and Ivory Design Studio 

Dear Ady,

My RSVP date for my wedding has recently come and gone.  Of 275 guests invited, only 175 have RSVP'd.  I don't understand what's holding the RSVP's up and I need to know final numbers.  I am getting quite frustrated with this rudeness and I don't know what to do?

Please help,

Losing It In Louisiana

Dear LIIL, 

Oh!  You poor thing...you are experiencing one of the most unnecessary frustrations of wedding planning, but take heart, your guests are not the only 'less than prompt' responders.  This is an extremely common (although, AHEM GUESTS, unacceptable) phenomenon.   

Here's what to do...
Since your RSVP date has now come and gone, it's time to start personally contacting guests to ask for their RSVP.  Do not do this alone!  Recruit your family and fiance to reach out, as well.  Divide the list and assign your helpers their contacts and a date you would like them to have the answer by.  

Now, here is the hard part, try your very best to put on your gracious host hat and stay calm and lovely when making your calls/sending your emails.  These folks are your dearly beloved and even though they have not followed proper RSVP etiquette, it is not your job to remind them of this.  A simple, sweet email/phone call is all you need to get your answer and move on to the next.  

Word to Guests - please take RSVP's seriously.  For weddings or any events.  Knowing whether or not you will attend is very important to these final, stressful, stages of planning.  Take heart and do your part - don't make that poor bride call you!  

xoxo, 

Ady  

Press! M&L's Wedding on Style Me Pretty!

We are thrilled to have been featured this week on Style Me Pretty.  Melissa and Nick's Spring Cincinnati Soiree was tons of fun to plan and they are an amazing couple!  It was an honor!

Here is a link to the feature!

   

Dan + Alicia's Same-Day-Edit Video

We just loved being a part of Dan and Alicia's special New Year's Eve celebration on 12.31.12.  The couple was amazing and SO in love and the details of the wedding were incredible.  The whole family and wedding party were just a delight.  Here is a quick preview of their day, captured by the impeccable Steve and team at Studio Z Films and shown at MIDNIGHT...ENJOY!  (we sure did)!

xx, AE

Wedding Wednesday: S&L's Modern Elegance in the Garden

S&L's Modern Elegance in the Garden

We just adored working with Shelly and Lance on their October 7, 2012 wedding held at Franklin Park Conservatory.  Both bride and groom are in the creative biz (they actually met at work!) and had such a great vision for the details.  This intimate wedding was loaded with special touches and moving moments and we were SO thrilled to be a part of it!  Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Dooley!

Check out the WEDDING VIDEO shot by the talented Todd from Rouxby


 And here just a sampling of pictures from the lovely Lauryn Byrdy...

 

 

   

A few of our wonderful Wedding Partners:

Venue:  Franklin Park Conservatory
Photography:   Lauryn Byrdy
Makeup:  Cheek Makeup by Lindsay
Video:  Rouxby
Hair:  Celebrity Stylist, Daniel Lewis
Nannies:  Mobile Mommies
Cakes:  Kitties Cakes
Florals:  Steven Cox
Dress:  Luxe Redux 

And of course planning by AE's Adrianne and Brittany...xo

Wedding Wednesday: The Importance of a Timeline

MAKE A TIMELINE!

Your timeline is KEY to the smooth running of your wedding day.   If you hire a planner, he or she will create this for you and use it as their bible to ensure you stay on time, your vendors stay on time and the important details of your event happen.   If you aren't working with a planner, it is important that the bride create this as she knows most closely the nitty-gritty of the day.   Use as MUCH detail as possible.  This will tell people the story of your day and give them a full understanding of happenings.

Once your initial timeline is created, send to all of your wedding professionals for approval.  You want to ensure enough time for the catering staff to serve dinner, your photographer to capture family photos, your transportation company to make multiple trips, and so on (and on and on and on)!  It is imperative that your vendors sign off before finalizing.  You want to set them (and your day-of timing) up for success.

Once your timeline is finalized, be sure to send to all of the people involved with your wedding.  Bridal party, parents, and wedding professionals need to know what your expectations are and where they need to be when.  The final timeline should be sent 1-2 weeks prior to your BIG DAY, but starting to spread the word sooner is always good, too.

While your timeline is imperative and acts as a guide throughout the day for timing and details, also know that timelines should also have a bit flexibility, too.  Being off the timeline by 5-10 minutes often happens due to any unforeseen (and unplanned circumstances).  You may not cut the cake at exactly 9:15pm and that's OK!  But you do want to make sure certain events happen on time.  Your ceremony, your cocktail hour and your dinner service.

Pass your timeline on.  If you have not hired a planner, give the timeline to your Maid of Honor or MOB and ask them to keep an eye on it.  The last thing you want to do on your wedding day is worry about timing and whereabouts.  At that point, trust your timeline, trust your vendors and ENJOY your special day.  You deserve it and only happens once!

xx, AE