Dear Ady,
It looks like I will be having three bridal showers hosted for me and I am not sure if I should be inviting my Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids to all three or just one. I do not want them to feel obligated to bring or send gifts just because they received an invitation. I would love for them to be a part of the festivities and to spend time with my family and friends if they can make it to one or more. What is the proper thing to do/say so they don’t feel obligated?
Melissa, Columbus, OH
Dear Melissa,
You are very sweet to be concerned about this and there is a very simple answer to your quandary. Yes, do invite them to all three of the showers. You just never know which dates might work best and as an your honored attendants, they should be included in all of the festivities surrounding your special day. However, I would encourage you to call each of them and let them know that they will be receiving invitations to all of these parties. Explain to them that you would love for them to attend any of the events that they are available for, but that you would prefer that they not bring gifts. This conversation will set the expectations appropriately and your bridesmaids will appreciate it. In fact, telling them exactly what you told me explains it perfectly.
Bravo Considerate Bride,
Ady
NOTE TO BRIDESMAIDS: If you find yourself in a similar situation and are unsure what to do about a gift, here are a couple of suggestions:
1. Bring one gift to one shower. Your presence at the other showers will be gift enough. You can also contribute to the party by helping the host, keeping track of the opened gifts, etc.
2. The bridesmaids can all contribute to a group gift for each of the showers. Either items from the registry that fit comfortably in the budget set-forth or something special off the registry that you know your bride will love (examples: Anthropologie tea towels, a special candle she loves, a basket of cooking spices and oils, a meaningful cookbook; the options are endless)
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