Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Wedding Wednesday: Tipping Etiquette

We get a lot of questions regarding tipping etiquette and it can be tricky to decipher!  Here are a few guidelines and tips, as well as, a list of how much to tip whom. 

You are not obliged to tip

Tipping is meant to be an expression of appreciation for especially good service. That said, unless the servicewas terrible, would you walk away from a restaurant table without leaving one? The same applies to weddings and events.  It is customary to show your gratitude by tipping many of the people involved in making your special event a success.

Check Your Contracts

Many gratuities are built into the price quotes for major items like catering, transportation, etc. so it's not necessary to double-tip a full 15-20%, however, for the banquet captain or the onsite limo driver, it's a lovely gesture to give them a little extra.  It also ensures good will on their part. 


Reward Exceptional Service 

This goes beyond wedding and party etiquette, when someone does something special for you, be sure to reward them!  Beyond their customary tip, be sure to give your baker, florist, hair stylist something special if they have gone above and beyond their normal call of duty for you.   Anywhere between $50-$100 is sufficient, or if you have a personal relationship with the vendor, you can give them a personal a gift or a gift card to their favorite shop.

Ceremony Tipping

Find out if your congregation has donation guidelines.  Typically, if you are marrying in a church, you can expect your donation to range from $100-$500 depending on how active a member you are, the more active, the more you should probably give.  This can be given directly to the officiant.   If a justice of the peace, friend or other non-denominational person performs your ceremony, it is customary to tip them around $100.  Again, if you have a personal relationship with them, and ESPECIALLY, if they are not charging a fee for their services, it is customary to give them a gift around $250.  Just think, they have saved you officiant fees and made your day extra personal. 

Get your tips ready and put someone in charge of distributing them on your big day! 

This is something that your wedding planner will handle for you, however, if you don't have a wedding planner, be sure to put someone very trustworthy in charge of handling the day-of tipping.  Father's are a good option, or your Maid of Honor or Best Man.   The best way to handle this is to pre-write thank you notes and seal them in the envelope with the tip, clearly mark on the envelope the name of your vendor and their service so that the delegate can easily identify which envelope should be given to which vendor.  For example:   Daniel, Hair Stylist. 

We recommend handing out the envelopes at the beginning of your wedding, or as soon as the vendor has arrived.  The extra little something will ensure that they go above and beyond. 

Guidelines to Tipping: 
Bartenders*: 10 percent of the total liquor bill (to be split among them). 
Bathroom attendants: $1 to $2 per guest
Catering manager: $200+ or a personal gift
Chef*: $100+
Coat check attendants: $1 to $2 per guest
Hairstylist: 15 to 20 percent
Hotel chambermaids: $2 to $5 per room; $10 to $15 if you used a suite as your dressing room
Limo or bus drivers*: 15 percent
Maitre d’hotel or headwaiter: 1 to 3 percent of food and beverage fees
Makeup artist: 15 to 20 percent
Musicians: 15 percent of fee for ceremony musicians; $25 to $50 per musician for reception
DJ:  $50-$100
Photographer/videographer: $100
Valet or parking attendants*: $1 to $2 per car; 15 percent for valet parking
Waiters*: $20 and up each (distributed by the catering manager or maitre d’)
Cake Baker:  At your discretion, if they have gone above and beyond or given a great deal, be sure to thank them with a handwritten note, flowers, or even a thank-you gift card.  The promise of referrals is a great gift, too.
Wedding Dress Provider: same as above
Florist:  same as above, however, instead of flowers, give cupcakes from your baker! 

*If a 20% gratuity is included in the bill, it is not necessary to tip additionally.   The exception to this rule is your limo or transportation drivers.  Tip them regardless, they will be more likely to overlook that extra 1/2 hour or the spilled wine on the bus, resulting in savings for you in the long run. 


Lastly, there are a few cute ways to put together your thank you tip cards.  You can use leftover envelopes from your invitations or save the dates.  They will most likely have your monogram or names on the return flap and it ads an extra something.  Brides.com also has cute envelopes that are long and thin (perfect for bills) that can be purchased and used especially for your tip cards.  Or!  This is a great first-time to use your brand new monogrammed stationery. 

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