The Do's and Don't of Registering.
We consulted our wise friend, Emily Post for this one. Read on!
Do: Set up your registry early.
Friends and family will want to start sending gifts as soon as you announce your engagement. Setting up your registry early will alleviate those strange gifts that people gravitate toward when they don't have a guide (one silver spoon? Thanks Aunt Martha?!)
Don’t: Register at just one location.Two to three locations is ideal (DEFINITELY no more than 4 - it looks greedy). If possible, at least one of your choices should have a physical store in the areas where many of your guests live―just because you dig the convenience of the web doesn’t mean that Aunt Martha feels the same.
Do: Register for a wide range of gifts at various price points. People prefer choosing from a large selection: If you have, say, 100 invited guests, you’ll need a minimum of 125 registry items. Registering at a kitchen store (we love Williams-Sonoma), a specialty store (Pottery Barn has a great registry and you can use gift cards at both WS and PB), and a department store (Bloomingdale's is our favorite) will cover all your bases. Be sure to register for a few heirloom pieces (items you will pass down from your wedding to your grandchildren), but be mindful of price points. If you are questioning whether an item is too expensive, it probably is.
Don’t: NEVER EVER reference your registries on stationery (invitation, save the date, etc.)
You can include your registries on your wedding website, however, and it is wise to include your web address on your save the date. If someone asks you where you are registered, you can absolutely tell them, but spreading the registry word should be the job of your bridal party and close family.
Do: Request nontraditional items if they reflect you as a couple. If you and your fiance are hardcore campers or fishers or wine enthusiasts, it's perfectly acceptable to register somewhere that reflects your hobbies and interests. It is not acceptable however to register for a new Playstation or pair of Louboutin's. Those hobbies don't count.
Don’t: Eliminate all time-honored items. Be careful to no have too many radical items on your registry. People want to buy you gifts that you will have for a long-time and something that will be obsolete after a couple of years is hard to justify. Not to mention, some people just really want to buy you that fabulous toaster oven. Let them.
Do: Wait to use the presents that arrive before the wedding. Do not use those gifts!! If something should happen to your nuptials (heaven forbid) you MUST return all of the gifts. It is also special to wait to use your wedding gifts for the first time as a married couple.
Don’t: Ask for money outright.
If you are hoping for cash, the only way to do this is to no register anywhere and hope that your guests get the hint. Bridal party and family (not you and your fiance) can politely spread the word that this is your wish, for example: "I know they are saving for a down-payment on their home and a contribution would be very helpful." Just be prepared that you may get a few toaster ovens in the mix. You still need to be grateful for these.
Do: Write thoughtful, prompt thank-you notes
Emails and phone calls DO NOT COUNT. A thank you upon receipt doesn't either. Even if you thank someone at your shower, you must still send a note, and make sure it's personal. People smell a "form thank you" from a mile away. Your thank you notes should arrive within 6 weeks of gift receipt. Be sure to keep a log of who gave what and who has received a note. This will be helpful to reference later when you can't remember if Aunt Martha gave the ladle or the gravy boat.
Have questions??! Contact us! We love to help and we love registry questions!
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