Manners

"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."
- Emily Post

We love this quote by Emily Post.  Too often in event planning and even day to day interactions, we misunderstand the true meaning of etiqutte and manners.  These set of rules were never designed to be elitist or to set one above someone else.  In fact, to use your knowledge of etiquette in a way that makes your guests or others in your presence uncomfortable is actually very POOR manners. 

A good rule of thumb when thinking through manners in regards to planning your event is decide who your audience is.  For example, if we are discussing hosting a dinner party,  if formal Aunt Jane and her cronies are coming to dinner, then by all means, get out the crystal and set the table with china and a utensil for every course.  Aunt Jane loves that and it makes her comfortable!  However, if your next door neighbors are coming to dinner whom you have never seen out of their birkenstock's and artist smock or garden clothes, then perhaps you want to serve a meal in a less formal manner.

When in doubt, by all means, ASK!  You can glean a lot about a person's preferences and comfort level by asking them what their favorite beverage is and favorite dish.  If your guest prefers budweiser and fried chicken, then by all means get a 6-pack, get it nice and cold and enjoy your meal.

These thoughtful overtures go a long way to make you not only a gracious host, but most importantly someone people will want to spend time with. 

If you are a guest attending someone's home for dinner (or any other event for that matter) and you are faced with something that you are not familiar with or not 100% comfortable with, then take your cue from your host.  Watch how they crack that crab leg and try to do it the same way.  Also, if you are offered something that you don't care for, it is absolutely OK to let your host know that although those brussel sprouts look better than any you have ever seen before, unfortunately, it's one of the foods that you just don't care for.  You can also let your host know that you are thrilled with the other items served and excited to eat seconds of those. 

If you have an allergy or other specific food restrictions, it is a good idea to let your host know when they invite you to dine.  It is not appopriate to give them a long laundry list of foods you simply do not like. 

As a guest, bringing a token of appreciation to dinner is always a lovely gesture, however, a simple thank you note after dinner goes a long way, too.  Flowers, a candle, something from your garden, wine, beverages, or chocolates they can enjoy later are usually safe bets.

All in all, attending an event, or dinner or wedding should be a joyous and fun occasion.  Relax and be your lovely self - the "good manners" will follow.