Ask Ady: Budget Convo Advice

Dear Ady,

My fiancé has recently proposed and we are in the very early stages of planning our wedding.  Both sets of parents have previously alluded to contributing financially to the wedding, but since we have been engaged, neither has brought up the topic.  I know I need to establish my budget, but I have no idea what they are planning to give.  

I am feeling a little bit shy about asking for and discussing financial help for our big day, especially with my fiance's parents, and I was hoping you could give me some suggestions.  Do you have any recommendations on how to initially bring this topic up with our parents?  Is this a meeting that we have with both sets of parents together, or should we have separate conversations?  Thanks, Ady!  Any advice will help!

Sincerely,
Meghan J., Columbus, Ohio

Dear Meghan, 

Ah yes, the dreaded budget conversation.  This topic is tricky on many levels, but especially tricky when you have to bring it up!   Your first step will be to do your due diligence and put together a budget for what you THINK your wedding will cost.  Make some initial venue calls and put down some preliminary numbers on paper.  Be thorough - don't forget little details like tuxedo rentals, save the dates, and transportation.  Smaller budget items tend to add up quickly.  

After you have established your preliminary budget, talk with your fiancé about what the two of you can afford to contribute, IF you need to.  

At that point, it is best that you have individual conversations with your parents rather than a group conversation.  If you are uncomfortable about being included in the conversation with your fiance's parents, there may be a good reason for that.  You should each be prepared to speak to your parents privately and independently of each other.  

It is "tradition" that the bride's parents host the bulk of the wedding day activities, while the groom's parents host the rehearsal dinner and the "day-before" details.  It is important to ask your parents what their expectations are before launching into what you expect of them.  If the two expectations do not coincide, you will then need to have a deeper conversation about what you actually need.  

A few further bits of advice:  

Until you know how much you have to spend, refrain from making big planning decisions.  You don't want to blow a large chunk of your budget on a designer dress or super expensive venue if you can't actually afford it.  

Embrace your budget.  Whatever it is, is what it is.  You must work within it.  It does not make sense to go into debt to host a party more lavish than what you can comfortably pay for.  

Be grateful that your parent's are contributing to the costs, no matter how much that amount is.  Be sure to show them your gratitude.  

You can do it!  You aren't the first and won't be the last bride to find herself in this predicament.  It WILL work out!

xo, Ady 

Wedding Wednesday: What to do with that big blank wall?

Dressing up a naked wall is a great way to add visual interest, intimacy, and cool decor to your space. 

Use a blank wall to exhibit personal photos!  Whether canvas prints or gorgeous frames, personal photos will create visual interest for your guests and bring a truly personal element to your wedding decor.

Blank walls are also a great area to display a cool guestbook or out-of-the-box seating chart.

 Consider create a photo moment!  Whether you have a back drop (or any actual booth!), put some props on display and let your friends and family go at it!  These pictures make a fun guest book or, just give you some really great candid memories :)

Tip:  Be sure to talk to your venue manager about their rules regarding affixing items to their walls.  You don't want to be surprised when they say nails are a "no-no."

Photos Courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings and Esty

Another idea… play home videos on your blank wall.  This can create a wonderful background ambience and you can make it a classic, timeless piece when family movies are projected in black and white.
Tip: Make sure the wall is either not placed in a major thoroughfare or be sure to project from high enough up that guests won't constantly be standing in the projector light.

Play around with lighting!  Ambiant lighting can easily fix a blah space and using a GoBo for walls or makes your monogram larger than life!
Tip:  Be sure to test the hues before making a final decision.  While pink lighting may sound like a great idea, when translated into a large space, it might be overkill.  

Photos Courtesy of Peak Styles, Rent My Wedding, The Bridal Detective, and Aves Photographic Design

Draping blank walls with fabric gives the most luxurious results (but it is also the most costly)!  Fabric can also be used to hide open ceilings that may not be the most attractive.

Tip:  Fabric does not work well when done sparsely.  If your budget doesn't allow you to drape the room appropriately, then opt for a less expensive decor option.  Lighting does wonders to transform a space. 

Photos Courtesy of The Knot and Pix 2 Brix

Happy Hour with AE: Spiked Cranberry Apple Cider

Surprise guests this Fall with a new twist on an old classic by adding cranberry juice to your hot apple cider.   The blend of apple and cranberry is sweet and tart and the addition of cranberry turns the cider a beautiful red color, making this a perfect beverage to carry through the fall and right into your holidays! 

Photo Courtesy of Betty Crocker

Serves 24

Ingredients:

1/3 cup brown sugar

2 tsp whole Allspice

4 sticks cinnamon 

1 bottle (48oz) apple cider (6 cups)

1 bottle (48oz) cranberry juice cocktail (6 cups)
4 sliced navel oranges
1 orange cut for garnish 

1 bottle Clear Creek Apple Brandy
(spiced rum or whiskey can be substituted) 

Directions:

Mix all ingredients, expect the Apple Brandy, in your medium-large slow cooker.  Heat on low 4-6 hours.  With a slotted spoon, remove allspice, cinnamon and orange rinds before serving.  Add a shot of Apple Brandy to individual mugs, throw in an orange garnish, and fill with cider.  Voila!  

AE Tip:  This recipe freezes beautifully.  Double or Triple this recipe and make a nice big batch this fall.   Freeze in smaller individual containers and serve all throughout the season!  Note - any cider that has brandy already added, will not freeze well, so save the liquor for serving time!  

ENJOY!

Wedding Wednesday: Use Seasonal Decor in Multiple Ways

 Taking full advantage of the multiple ways to use seasonal elements can add unique details to any wedding.

Pumpkins don't have to be for Halloween only!  If you're planning an autumn affair, don't stray away from this seasonal must.  Just as the foliage turns to hues of golds and orange, pumpkins become readily available to bring a fall feel to a wedding without reminding everyone of ghosts and goblins.

If orange reminds you of jack-o-lanterns, opt for gourds and pumpkins with a little more character.  Shapes, sizes and color, not one will be the same as another, making incorporating this seasonal favorite easy.  From making a flavorful "pumpkin" palate for your guests to enjoy over dinner, to creating a fun, friendly feel in decor, pumpkins can be painted, decorated, and sculpted to fit into every fall wedding theme!

Photos courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings 

If leaves are more within your comfort level, bring on the opportunities!  From gorgeous foliage backdrops, a simply printed invitation or name card, or incorporating autumn colored hues into your lighting, leaves are a timeless way to bring fall into your wedding decor.  Twigs and branches will help set off just the slightest difference in decoration so that the seasonal elements are not over used.  Wood and other natural decor will help to create an effortless look that doesn't lack in beauty!

Pictures courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings and Bunches of Bliss

   

Wedding Wednesday: Playing with Fall Color

The leaves are turning and Fall is here -- in more color than ever!  

Reds, browns, and yellows have been booted this season (thank goodness!) as jewel tones take over.  While these colors can stand alone, they become even more vibrant mixed with metals and wood.

 Glam it up with golds and silvers to make a sparkling impression, or neutralize your jewel tones with ivory and creams for a more subtle, natural look.  If you can't choose which route you prefer, do both!  The beauty of these colors is that they are VERY versatile.

Whether planning a fabulous fall wedding or in-home soiree, don't be afraid to play with rich, bold color this season!  

Some of our favorite jewel tones: 

pink ruby, sapphire, turquoise, emerald, amethyst 

Fabulous use of color and mixed mediums:

Photo Courtesy of The Knot

Ask Ady: Cash Bar v. Hosted Bar

Dear Ady,

One of my good friends is in the middle of planning her wedding.  Sometimes she will ask for my advice on certain issues, as I have a very large family and have been a guest at many many receptions.  In a recent conversation, she had asked for my thoughts on hosting a cash bar at her wedding (which she is currently planning on).  In my opinion, I would not expect my guests to pay for a drink at my house, and therefore, I would not expect my friends and family to pay for a drink at my wedding.  Weddings are already expensive, and I know that adding in alcohol only makes those dollar signs go up, but are there any other opinions to make an open bar less expensive?  What are you thoughts on hosting a cash bar at a wedding?


Thanks for any advice,

Grace
Savannah, GA

Dear Grace, 

Ah yes, the cash bar conundrum.  Your instincts (and adherence to appropriate etiquette) are correct.  While offering a cash bar may seem like a great money saving option, it's terrible for your friend's PR.  If she TRULY cannot afford to provide alcohol for her guests, then I would recommend that she not serve it at her reception, at all.  Perhaps there is a bar in the venue open to the public that thirsty guests can visit if they need a drink - she should spread the word that this is the case so that guests are prepared for a dry(ish) wedding.  

She may also want to consider changing the format of her wedding.  If she is planning a sit-down dinner in the evening, perhaps it becomes a heavy hors d'oeuvres party which will free up dollars to include a bar.  Or perhaps, she hosts a beautiful brunch with just a bloody mary and mimosa bar.  

However, if she can eek out some dollars here and there to offer alcoholic beverages at her evening wedding, that is the way to go.  Even if it's just beer and inexpensive wine.  Guests will remember a cash bar long-after they will ever remember decor, the cake, favors, and other accoutrements so perhaps she reduces her budget for these items to allow for a hosted bar.  

Assuming that her wedding is still some time away, I would also suggest that she start saving monthly for the bar expenses.  Refraining from buying those new jeans here, or having a steak dinner there, will quickly add up to a nice little nest-egg to use toward her bar costs.  

The bottom line is this, most guests want to have an adult beverages at weddings.  Period.  Of these guests, few will feel warm and fuzzy about footing the bill.  Double Period. 

Grace - tread lightly when discussing this with your friend.  She may not take it well. And if she does go forth with a cash bar, I would recommend you carry a well-appointed flask in your evening bag.  

Good luck!

-Ady

Wedding Wednesday: Travel Apps

For our destination wedding hosts, guests, and, of course, honeymooners, traveling abroad or to any foreign locale CAN be a breeze!  Check out these helpful apps, and ask yourself, again, how did we ever live without our smart phones?  

Communication & Etiquette: 

Google Translate

64 languages are available for written and spoken translation. 

Vocre
Translates anything you say into the mic.  Just set the language you want to translate from, then plug in the language you'd like to translate to.  But be sure to speak clearly, you don't want Siri to ask for octopus arms when you wanted tuna sashimi!

World Customs

This app features cultural facts and traditions allowing travelers to seek immerse in the foreign soil they travel. Learn proper greetings, gender issues, taboos, and gestures for 165 different countries. 

Money Matters:
Oanda Currency Converter 
Chose from over 190 currencies and 4 metals to convert your money when traveling.

Getting There:
Packing Pro
Don't forget anything at home!  Create a list of items to pack, or select from sample lists to ensure you have everything you need!

 TripIt
No more looking through countless emails for reservations - with this app, all your itineraries are in one place!  You will have your flight times, rental car information & hotel accommodations at just a glance.

Getting Around:
AroundMe
This locator app tells your all the points of interest around your detect location.  Find what you're looking for by selecting from categories such as, restaurants, museums, and bars.

LocalEats
Skip the national-chain restaurants.  Eat like a local.  This app features independently-owned restaurants and local places only!

HopStop
HopStop takes the guesswork out of even the most complex public transportation systems.  Never again will you be the tourist holding the map in the middle of SoHo!   Enter your starting point and destinations and HopStop will provide step-by-step instructions.

Just for Fun:
Postagram
ONE OF OUR FAVORITES!  Bring back the charm in sending a postcard to friends and family while vacationing.  Upload a picture to this app, type in a message and the recipient's address.  A personalized postcard will be delivered to their (actual) mailbox within a few days.

Trip Journal 
Not one to scrapbook?  Don't worry!  This app tracks your trip's pictures for you by GPS.  You can even have your friends share your vacation with you by inviting them onto your page!  They will be able to see what places you have visited and all the pictures you've taken.

Convert Clothes
Shoppers!  While traveling abroad, let this clothing size converter help you when trying on foreign fashions.