Wedding Wednesday: Ask Ady!

Ask Ady!  I don't want to attend my ex's wedding solo!  

Image courtesy of our ever-talented friends at Ink and Ivory Design Studio

Dear Ady, 

I was originally invited to my ex-boyfriends wedding (an ex from 10+ years ago).  We have remained very good friends.  When the save the date arrived my boyfriend at the time and I were invited together and both planned to attend.  Said boyfriend and I have now broken up and the wedding invitation I received did not include a guest.  I don’t know why but it bothered me, but also, I don’t want to attend solo.   Should I ask the groom, my long-time friend and ex, if I can bring a date?   Or is that inappropriate?

Helpless in Hoboken, 

Ellie, Hoboken, NJ

Dear Ellie, 

You should not ask to bring a date if your hosts did not specify on the invitation that you may.  Often times, the bride and groom prefer to keep their guest list limited to only those that they know personally, hence, your most recent ex being invited initially.  Since they chose to leave "and guest" off the invitation, they have sent a clear message that they would prefer that just you attend their wedding. 

Furthermore, examine the reasons why you would be hesitant to attend alone.  If you will be uncomfortable to see your ex get married, or won't know anyone at your table, for examples, I say it's probably best to not attend at all.  Having a "wingman" attend with you will not make any of the reasons you are hesitant better.  Again, you may want to give these reasons further thought - 9 times out of 10, ex's getting married bring up well-buried emotions no matter HOW long you have been out of the relationship.  You know best if you fall into the 9 category, or are the 1 who was able to move on with no strings attached.  

My advice?  Send a lovely gift and your best wishes. 

I hope I "Helped you in Hoboken!"  :) 

- Ady 

Wedding Wednesday: Choose your venue first!

Hi Gals!  It's Wedding Wednesday and we have some serious advice for you.

When beginning your planning,  CHOOSE YOUR WEDDING VENUE FIRST.   Whether it be the venue for ceremony and reception or just reception, it's very important to make that decision before making any others (well, except maybe your wedding planner, of course!!).  This decision drives SO many others.  Let's talk about them...

Your color palate   
If you are getting married in a space that is heavily decked out with orange decor (we are just using this as an example!!), it's best not to get your heart set on a black and red color palate (again example!).

Your dress decision 
If you choose a beautiful 40's-inspired vintage dress, but then choose to host your reception at a more preppy feeling yacht club, you may feel a disconnect in your bridal look and overall wedding look.

Bridal party attire 
Chances are, you will choose a different look for your maids and men if you are in a gorgeous garden wedding setting vs. an elegant ballroom setting and so-on.

Your Veil
A beach ceremony and reception (wind!!) will not be as conducive to a cathedral-length veil as a church ceremony would be.   As such, a birdcage veil may be more appropriate to a Napa Valley fete rather than a traditional ballroom wedding.

And, the list goes on and on and on!  Take our advice!  We know it's hard but stay away from the dress shopping until you have booked your venue and date.  You can do it!!!

Andrea and Jason's neutral, beachy, chic wedding.  We played off the natural wood and whitewash at the venue and sand creating a lovely, inviting, warm environment that complemented what already was there.  All in all, tres chi, tres light and tres perfect.   Photo by our friends at Life's Highlights.