Ask Ady: Personal Gift Off the Registry

Dear Ady,
Help! I need ideas for a wedding where the couple has only registered for giftcards. We can't attend in person so want to give a gift that says a little more than a giftcard. Ideas?


Thanks, 


Cate, Denver 

Dear Cate, 


Hmmm - this is an interesting predicament!  I think it's great that you want to provide something a little more personal and memorable - what a lovely gracious guest you are!  


My suggestion would be to still send a gift card (since this is obviously what they want and need) but include a token that is special from you to the couple.  


Perhaps it's a favorite bottle of wine you have enjoyed together.   Maybe it's a set of really cool pasta bowls with a favorite cook-book of yours because they love Italian.  


Perhaps it's something personal just for the couple.  Beautifully monogrammed bath towels, tea towels or pillow cases are always useful and it gives them something special from their wedding that they may not have even known that they wanted.  Pottery Barn has lovely neutral options for this.   


You could also send a beautiful (personalized or not) photo album (Etsy has TONS) and insert the gift card and a picture of the four of you or of your family in the first page.  Right after your wedding, there is nothing more useful than a blank photo album!  


I hope this helps and GOOD LUCK!
-Ady 

Friends of AE: Proper Invitation Wording from Paper Themes

We recently became friends with Mike Smith from Paper Themes, based in the UK, yes, that's right, the United Kingdom.  And since the English are, well, the English, and the forefathers of our language, we figured that they are the perfect experts to give us advice on the proper invitation wording.  Read on for phrasing to cover all different scenarios and hosts.    Thanks Mike and thanks Paper Themes!  Cheerio!  xx, AE

Photo Credit:  Paper Themes

Wedding Invitations – Choosing the Right Wording for the Right Hosts by Paper Themes

Getting the right wedding invitations for your big day can be a real challenge.  First of all you must ensure that they convey the tone and style of the event, whilst also including any theme that may be incorporated into the celebrations. 

Then you have to find a design that reflects the colours and shades that will be present at the wedding.  However, your test isn't over quite yet as you decide on the right wording for your wedding invitations – an element which is dictated by who will be hosting the event. 

Below you will find some examples of correct wording that can be used in traditional wedding invitations, dependant on the hosts and their personal circumstances.

Traditional 

Traditional has been such that the bride’s parents will pay for most if not all of the wedding costs and are therefore the hosts.  In this instance the wording should be:

Mr & Mrs Ian Dawson

request the pleasure of the company of

.........................................

at the marriage of their daughter

Rachel

to

James Caswell

Both sets of parents

A more modern approach is for parents of both the bride and groom to contribute towards their children’s special day.  Where hosting is shared the following wording is suitable:

Mr & Mrs Ian Dawson

and

Mr & Mrs Paul Caswell

 request the pleasure of the company of

.........................................

at the marriage of

Rachel

to

James Caswell

 

The Couple

If the couple is hosting their own wedding, the following wording should be used:

Rachel Dawson & Paul Caswell

request the pleasure of the company of

.........................................

at their marriage

Separated and widowed parents

Separated or divorced parents (not remarried) 

Mr Ian Dawson and Mrs Janice Dawson

request the pleasure of the company of

.........................................

at the marriage of their daughter

Rachel

to

James Caswell

If only one of the divorced parents are hosting, or if the host is widowed:

Mrs Janice Dawson

requests the pleasure of the company of

.........................................

at the marriage of her daughter

Rachel

to

James Caswell

 

Considering step-parents

If a bride’s mother has divorced the father, then remarried and is hosting with her new husband, you can set the wording out like this:

Mr & Mrs Richard Jackson

request the pleasure of the company of

.........................................

at the marriage of her daughter

Rachel

to

Mr James Caswell

Unusual hosts

In some instances it could be that there are other less orthodox loved ones hosting the wedding, such as aunts and uncles, godparents or grandparents.  All of these examples can be solved by using the following wording and adjusting the relationship accordingly:

Mr & Mrs Joe Lyon

request the pleasure of the company of

.........................................

at the marriage of their goddaughter

Rachel

to

James Caswell

An important rule

Whilst we have covered most eventualities, there are other host variations that may arise.  In order to ensure the right wording for these, there is a simple rule that can help.  If the hosting couple are still married then they should be called Mr & Mrs X. 

Where the hosting couple are separated but not divorced, or divorced but the female retains her married name, it should be written Mr X and Mrs X. 

In the instance that the hosting couple are divorced and the female has changed her surname, it should be written Mr X and Mrs Y. 

Remembering this and referencing our examples above, you should be able to work out any hosting eventuality. 

Note that throughout the examples we have used ‘&’ to indicate where hosts are still together, with ‘and’ signifying separate parties.  

Is your scenario not covered here?  Ask Mike! He has answers 

Ask Ady: Appropriate Gift for a Couple Hosting a Shower?

Hi Ady!
I have a really random question and I may be over thinking this, but I need your advice.  I just realized that I need to think of a great thank-you gift for a couples shower being hosted for my fiance and me by my parent's friends as a couple.  I am at a loss for what is not so gender specific that the couple will like and/or need.  I am trying to think of something unique and special since they really already have everything they really need.  Any thoughts?   


Thanks!


M, Grandview 




HI M,


You are very sweet to consider this decision so heavily.  Luckily, most of the time, men do understand that gifts are primarily for the lady of the house, so I don't think you need to worry TOO heavily about this, but here are some ideas that will be pleasing to both:  


1. A beautiful arrangement from the couple's favorite florist.  Have this prearranged and delivered on the morning of your shower.  They will be able to use it as part of the decor.  You may want to use the invitation they sent out as a guide for a color scheme.  When in doubt, go for neutrals!


2. His and Hers luggage tags.  Tiffany has really cool luggage tags that pretty much anyone could use.  You can give him black and her Tiffany blue.  Chances are, they don't already have these, and haven't thought about upgrading their luggage tags!


3. A gift certificate to a nearby restaurant.  You can give this with the sentiment of "thanks for hosting such a lovely shower for us, we would like to treat you to a dinner out."


I hope this helps!  Thanks for writing in! 


Ady